


Unbreak My Heart

by Janie94



Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Confessions, F/M, First Kiss, Getting Together, Major Spoilers for 'Fallout', Post Movie, Team as Family, letting go of the past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 06:21:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15600219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janie94/pseuds/Janie94
Summary: After Ethan has woken up in the medical camp, he and Ilsa finally have a talk about Julia and... well, them.





	Unbreak My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> I watched 'Fallout' yesterday and absolutely loved it. One of the best Action movies I have ever seen and Tom was as amazing as always. I just had to write this additional peace for the scene following the climax.

 

** Unbreak My Heart **

 

“It’s over,” Ethan told her softly, his voice still hoarse from disuse . “ You are free now.”

Was she? 

Ilsa couldn’t tell any longer . She knew what he was referring to and it should be easy to agree with him. Her job was done – thanks to his help – and she was free to go and live a normal life. Or as normal as it could get when you were a secret agent. She had proven her loyalties to the MI6 by bringing them the man whom she had once worked for as part of the Syndicate.

Lane would be going back to prison while  Ilsa could close this chapter of her life and finally move on. But things were much more complicated than that, she realized as she sat down on the bed beside Ethan, taking in the bruises on his face and the fatigue in his eyes.

Ethan had almost died trying to save all their lives – again.  Ilsa figured she should be used to it by now. It might have been a few years since they had parted and she hadn’t seen him since but as Luther had rightfully told Julia, Ethan hadn’t changed all that much. 

He was still the same risky, unpredictable hothead that he had probably always been. That’s what Luther and  Benji kept telling her and  Ilsa had no trouble believing it. Ethan’s deep need to save his friends was his greatest weakness but also his greatest strength. It would probably get him killed one day but at least his friends knew that they could always count on him.

Ilsa had never met a man like Ethan  Hunt, she had realized that very early on. She had asked herself many times why she had saved him three years ago instead of just letting him drown . It would have been the more logical thing to  do, Ethan wasn’t her friend after all. At least that’s what she had been convinced of, but it was clear that he saw things differently. For a secret agent surrounded by people who kept betraying each other, Ethan was unbelievably trusting.  

He had trusted her and treated her like part of the team. Back then  Ilsa hadn’t been able to just let him die like that and she had felt a pang of conscience when she had betrayed Ethan and his team.  Every other man would have probably never trusted her again but Ethan wasn’t any other man; he had never been. 

This became awfully clear to her now as she stared down at him. Once again he had risked his life for theirs and it had been a close call. According to the doctors he had been half-dead from exhaustion when they had found him in the mountains and it was a miracle that he had survived the horrible helicopter crash without permanent injuries. 

“How are you feeling?” she asked even though she knew it was a stupid question for someone lying in a hospital bed. But she had to hear him say it because whatever Ethan said, she knew it was the truth. He could probably be bleeding out and she would believe that he would make it through as long as he told her that.

Ethan smiled weakly, the warm expression  that had been on his face ever since she had come to visit him again, intensifying a thousand fold. Even when he was exhausted and  injured, his smile managed to touch something inside  of  her that she had long thought dead. 

“Good,” Ethan replied.  “As long as you don’t make me smile.”

She had to chuckle at that and when she reached out to touch him, she was careful to stay away from his injured body parts, her hand coming to rest against his right cheek. His skin was surprisingly warm beneath her fingertips and it took her a moment to recall what she had wanted to ask him.

“You and Julia, are you good?” She wasn’t quite sur for whose sake she was asking.

Ethan’s smile waned a bit but he held her gaze, his voice still soft. “Yes, we are. I still love her - always have and always will – but we don’t have a future together. She needs a man who is there for her every day, not someone whose mere existence is a threat to her life. I tried to give up this life for  her, I tried to be what she wanted me to be. But it was eating me up from the inside , seeing all this misery in the world and knowing that I could have done something against it, however small it might have been.”

Ilsa nodded. “I know, Luther told me.”

He didn’t seem surprised by that as he continued, “I think Julia knew even before I did that I had to return to my old life in order to be happy. She let me go. It’s time I do too.” 

He sounded so small all of a sudden that  Ilsa acted without thinking. Carefully she leaned forward, pulling Ethan’s face  against her neck in a tight embrace. “I’m so sorry, Ethan.  That you have to watch her being happy with someone else. I can’t imagine how much this must hurt.”

Ethan didn’t move for a while, allowing her to comfort him before he eventually pulled back with a sad smile.  Ilsa realized even before she heard his words that this was just Ethan, trying to hide his pain behind a smile. 

“It doesn’t hurt, not really. I’m just glad that she is safe and has someone to turn to. That’s all I ever wanted for her.” He hesitated before adding quietly, “Though I wished that I could be the one.”

“It is you who made all of this possible for her,”  Ilsa argued softly. “Without you protecting her for all these years she wouldn’t get to live this life.”

Ethan relaxed back into the cushions, his eyes closing briefly before he looked at her again. The sadness and longing in his eyes had been replaced by something else, raw warmth and gentleness. The expression was as intense  as  Ilsa should have expected when it came to Ethan Hunt.

“I’m glad you’re okay,  Ilsa .”

It was kind of ironic considering he was the one lying in a hospital bed but she knew that he was being sincere. She had also risked her life today and even though he hadn’t been there to see it for himself, Ethan somehow knew it. And like always he let his team know that they had done a good job.

His concern still touched her and she was unable to hide her smile. “You’re not going to get rid of me this easily.”

He grinned, the corners of his eyes crinkling from the force of it. “Nor would I want to. You have become a part of this team, a part of my family. I won’t let you leave me again like you did last time.”

His words were possessive and it should probably scare  Ilsa . She was used to being free or at least on the run and she should hate anyone who grabbed her wrist and tried to clip her wings. 

But this was  Ethan . He was not saying this in order to force her to stay with him. His loyalty wasn’t bound by any conditions. 

Ilsa suspected that even if she chose to leave him again, he would probably welcome her back with open arms, no matter how long it would take.

She bit her lip, not sure how to  respond to his obvious feelings for her. “I don’t want to run away any longer. I’ve been alone all this time because I was convinced that attachments would be a weakness. But you and your team have shown me that it can also be my greatest strength. Trusting you has made me stronger and perhaps even a better person. I don’t want to lose this again.”

This time it was Ethan who reached up to touch her cheek, his fingertips ghosting so lightly over her skin that she shivered in response. “You don’t have to run any  longer,  Ilsa . If this is what you want, then you are welcome to stay. It would make all of us very happy.” The warmth in his eyes became even more intense. “It would make  me very happy.”

Had they always been this close? Or had she unconsciously leaned forward at his words?  Ilsa couldn’t tell for sure, all she knew was that Ethan’s face was too close to hold back any longer. She couldn’t see anything but him, her hands cupping his face as she leaned down to bridge the last distance between them.

Their lips met in a hesitant, chaste kiss and  Ilsa froze instantly. She had not meant to do this, not now when his heart was still aching after seeing Julia with another man.

Ilsa pulled back slightly, hoping she hadn’t ruined the first good thing that happened to her in a very long time. “Is this okay?”

Ethan’s eyes were closed but it was still easy to read him. His body was relaxed, the lines on his face smoothed out for once, only the corner of his mouth twitched up slightly. He looked far from upset. “Very. Please tell me you’re going to do it again.”

A heavy weight lifted off  Ilsa’s chest and she leaned forward again, kissing him harder this time. Ethan’s hand tangled in her head to keep her from moving back again when they opened their mouths to deepen the kiss but  Ilsa had no intention of doing that anyway. 

Because she was finally home.


End file.
